When the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

I’ve had my heart broken 3 times by 2 guys. Ironically neither of the 2 was my husband. In retrospect I never should have gotten married, and I knew that going into it … but by the time I decided that I shouldn’t be getting married we were so far into the wedding planning and so much was in place, I was scared that my family would kill me. They, of course, wouldn’t have, but I was just too chicken to see it at the time.

But my first serious boyfriend, who didn’t happen until college, broke my heart. Big time. It was such an intense first love and first everything kind of thing, he was bound to break my heart. We dated for 8 months (long distance), and he broke up with me the day I was leaving school for Christmas break. Over the computer. When I got back to school in January, I started dating a guy that I’d been friends with .. in fact, the night I met him the aforementioned boyfriend and I just had a fight and Chris and I started talking and ended up going for like a 2 hour walk all around Maryville. We just stayed friends, but did start dating when I returned to school after the big break up. We dated for like 4 months, and he broke up with me and I was totally devastated. Seriously. And it’s funny because his roommate (and best friend of like a million years) told me that Chris loved me more than he’d ever loved anyone and that our relationship was just too intense, and it was, and that’s part of the reason that he broke my heart --- I, of course, continued to sleep with him after we broke up … totally self destructive. But the night that Chris broke up with me I was in really, really bad shape … and talking to Greg (the ex) on the computer and he drove 6 hours to be with me so I didn’t have to be alone, and to just hold me. That was one of the single greatest things that anyone ever did for me.

Several years later the first love moved to Kansas City, and we dated – again – this time for about 7 months. The night he broke up with me we’d gone to see a play at Theater in the Park, and were at his apartment. We’d just had sex, and he told me that he didn’t love me. That he didn’t know if he’d ever loved me (including the first time we’d dated), but thought that maybe he was just in love with the idea of being in love. it was probably 2am and I made him take me home right then. That totally totally devastated me. And then we kind of became friends … after not talking for a very long time. The last time (other than his wedding) that I actually remember seeing him was the day we went Christmas shopping together. I spent the night at his apartment that night – on the couch – and nothing happened, but I think we both wanted it too, but knew that it wouldn’t be good, so we didn’t. and that’s the story of how 2 guys broke my heart 3 times.