That's it! I'm running away.

I'm done. I'm running away. I'm taking the little money I have, packing up a few things, and running away. I'm seriously, seriously contemplating it. I can't do this anymore. Any of it. I can't deal with the pressure from everyone. Both "sides". I'm tired of being made to feel like a horrible person. I'm not a bad person. I'm not a bad person for trying to let my son have a relationship with his father. HE doesn't care that Daddy isn't working. I personally think he should be, but maybe after he heals from the knee surgery he had yesterday he will get back to work. THEN (according to my mother) it MIGHT be OK for Clayton to have a relationship with his father. i can't do it anymore. I just can't. Anyone feel like taking in two visitors? If only it were that easy. Maybe I will do it. Maybe when I get my tax return I will just take up and leave and go somewhere new and try to start a new life for me and Clayton. Yeah, yeah, yeah Mom you love me and you just want what's best for me and Clayton ... but by pressuring me and making ME feel like a bad person for letting Clayton see Rob and telling me that I have something wrong in my head because I still "allow" him to have control then that's not the kind of love I want. I appreicate everything that my Mom and Dad have done for Clayton and me. We do live in their house basically rent free (I do buy the groceries every other week or so at $160 a pop), and I do pay my Mom for watching Clayton ($80 per week), and i know that I'm getting off dirt cheap for that ... but that's so not the point. I really am grateful for everything, but she really, really needs to just lay off.