a world that's ugly and a lie, it's hard to even want to try
My ex-husband's mother is very sick. As in she's been given a few months to live. Thus he wants Clay to be able to spend time with her before that happens. Makes sense to me. Last weekend was "his" weekend. But supposedly his mom was not feeling well enough to be around Clay. And yet, each night during the weekend when he called to say goodnight to Clayton, he (and his Mom) were at the Casino. How do I know? I could hear the 
slot machines. The kicker on this? The Casinos (there are 4 in the area) are all about 5-10 minutes away from my house. He lives 25 minutes away ... so he was close, and yet didn't bother coming to see Clay, or trying to meet us somewhere where he could see him, etc. And, there were 3 (including today) days this week where he could have picked him up from school and spend some time with him then, and yet again, he chose not to (even though yet again each night they were at one of the casinos). So he's had ample opportunites to spend some time with his son. He asked the other day if he could have him for a little bit on Saturday ... well we have plans on Saturday. But now he's telling me i'm a horrible person for not allowing his son to spend time with him and his dying grandmother and i need to explain to him (clay) why I won't let that happen ... blah, blah, blah. and if i don't tell him the truth about it, he will. the thing is, I dont' think i'm a bad person for not "allowing" him to see him on Saturday. Am i? It's like he wants to see him, but only on his terms, and that's not fair .... but maybe I am being unreasonable. Any thoughts on the situation are welcome.
slot machines. The kicker on this? The Casinos (there are 4 in the area) are all about 5-10 minutes away from my house. He lives 25 minutes away ... so he was close, and yet didn't bother coming to see Clay, or trying to meet us somewhere where he could see him, etc. And, there were 3 (including today) days this week where he could have picked him up from school and spend some time with him then, and yet again, he chose not to (even though yet again each night they were at one of the casinos). So he's had ample opportunites to spend some time with his son. He asked the other day if he could have him for a little bit on Saturday ... well we have plans on Saturday. But now he's telling me i'm a horrible person for not allowing his son to spend time with him and his dying grandmother and i need to explain to him (clay) why I won't let that happen ... blah, blah, blah. and if i don't tell him the truth about it, he will. the thing is, I dont' think i'm a bad person for not "allowing" him to see him on Saturday. Am i? It's like he wants to see him, but only on his terms, and that's not fair .... but maybe I am being unreasonable. Any thoughts on the situation are welcome.
4 comments:
No you are not being selfish, it sounds like your ex is. He should keep his visitations when scheduled if he wants you to make exceptions sometimes. If you already have plans with Clay you shouldn't have to cancel them to suit someone else. If he was really worried about Clay spending time with his Grandma then he wouldn't keep canceling his time with Clay.
You are not being selfish! His fair weather parenting skills need to be called out on!!!!!!! You are 100% right on this one!!!!!! As you always are when it comes to him!
Congrats on the love though! That rocks! :) I love to see you happy in that aspect, you deserve it!~
I don't think you are being selfish. I can't say I've been in your situation, but if I were I think I'd be a lot less reasonable than you are being. Time is precious in my mind and if he's spending his time gambling, well he's made his choice then right?
I know this is too late, and quite possibly your mother in law has already passed away, and if so, I'm very sorry.
But your ex-husband is just being manipulative. My guess is this is how he was when you were married, and this is probably one of the reasons you are no longer married, right?
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